"Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I trust in you. Jesus, I t r u s t…"
Let’s just be real. Trust is one of the most DIFFICULT parts of life.
To trust or not to trust…that has been the burning question in my soul as of late.
In this world filled with so many crazy notions of truth and so much doubt and despair, it’s hard to know who to trust, let alone to allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to do so. Trusting in someone or something makes us prone to hurt, disappointment, and heartbreak… those experiences that we in our humanness try so desperately to avoid- and yet at some point in every person’s life, the need to trust presents itself. This rings true even more so in our relationship with God. We trust Him with our lives- but only as much as we see fit. We allow Him into our hearts-but only as deeply as we want Him to be there- and yet- He wants our complete trust.
Recently in my own life, the Lord has given me the opportunity to trust Him in new ways that I would have never previously conceded to. He gave me the grace, however, to let go of someone very dear to me to allow Him to more fully enter into my heart so that there, He could care for those deepest parts of my soul that are in desperate need of His transforming love.
I have come to realize that in order for my heart to be full, and truly alive, I need to allow myself to rely on the Lord in a way that I never have before: I need to allow Him to capture my heart- all of it- and to allow Him to romance me: to show me a love so deep and so true that nothing and no one in the world could satisfy in my heart but Him alone.
I admit, however, that this is more easily said than done. The person I am surrendering to the Lord is someone that I would consider my best friend- he has shown me the unconditional love of Christ in so many ways- yet even so: the Lord often calls us out of our comfort zone. He invites us ‘onto the waves’ with Him, not so that He can make us miserable and pull us away from those we love, but to immerse us into His ocean of love and mercy. He longs to be our first love- our source- for it is “because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19) that we love others. If it’s true that Christ is the source of all love, and that only He can fulfill those deepest desires of our hearts, than allowing Him to show us a love beyond imagining is a leap of faith that we all should want to take! How can we do this? Well, it requires surrender…and a lot of it.
Now, why in the world would we want to put our trust in something unseen? Why should we be docile and surrender everything into His hands? Because despite all our doubts, God became man and “…shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) We have every reason to trust a man who, knowing each and every one of our sins, chooses to become like us- to love us- take our sin upon Him…and to DIE for us.
For many of us, surrendering to the Lord right now might mean giving something up- good or bad. Maybe it’s that comfort or person that you tightly cling to, that while it may not be bad, may need to be surrendered in order for you to enter into a deeper union with the Lord. For others, it may just require a simple prayer of humble trust. Maybe it’s a habitual sin that you can't break free from. Who knows, maybe you're someone that doesn't have any trouble at all with surrendering your whole life to God (which I have good reason to doubt since we are all imperfect). Whatever your case may be, trusting is a constant action the Lord is calling us to. Even in surrendering something fundamentally good, we need not fear the absence of that good, for the Lord may eventually return it to us in His own perfect timing. We just have to trust that He sees beyond our own limited eyes: that He knows what is best for us and what will help us to become holy as He is. He wants us to surrender to Him completely: to trust Him with our whole lives. Truthfully, that’s really not a lot of Him to ask. He only laid down His entire life for us. Let us ask for the intercessions of Our Blessed Mother, who is the perfect model of complete surrender and trust in the Lord through her total "Fiat", and St. Faustina, who pondered and strived for perfect trust repeating, “Jesus, I trust in you”. May we imitate their trust for our own growth in holiness, but ultimately, all for the greater honor and glory of God.
May God Bless you all and thank you for reading!